Bad Day
a honda crv hit my car on the rear right side on the way to work. talking about badluck. anyways, i'm glad no one's hurt. the driver was claiming he did not see me, which i found amusing.
i went back to the police station to make sure the police report didn't get doctored, and oh boy, went i went home i realized i lost my P330 pesos. to compound my woes for today, as i stopped on the intersection just steps away from the precinct, i was approached by an mmda who was pointing to me that i was beyond the pedestrian lane. i'm glad i had the cleverness to name-drop the investigator who was handling my case. sama ng mukha ni kupal, la naman nagawa!
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
Too early
i guess i came way too early. it's 6 am. my car's color-coded today so i left early. the business center is still close, so here i am writing something on a piece of paper, inside my car in the parking lot. my notebook is quite unstable ontop of the steering wheel.
i'm playing the theme song of warat on my cd player - ngayon, bukas, kahapon. i must say wency cornejo and rachel alejandro are two great artists. they sang this one with great passion and life. i remember ronnie, my friend from aci, he really loved this song. i love it, too. why? dunno. basta gusto ko siya. whenever i hear it, i feel like i want to drop everything i'm doing, take any risks and go on with my life the way i want to - with passion, with love, without making any plans. but that can never happen. hindi puwede. i have so many people to help, responsibilities to take on. i get tired. yes, i get tired. i'm currently looking for a place where i can be alone, i want that place to be high, that i can see the city below.
di ko alam bakit ganito, may mga oras na malungkot ako. there's a void. if not, then there are things i feel i may have failed to do. i just can't figure out exactly what.
i want to change my life. my drinking has never been heavier. my expenses never bigger. and i mean "my" expenses. useless, drinking-related expenses. i hate myself for that. gusto ko na magbago. God help me.
the parking lot here on the 4th floor of urban bank is still almost empty. i can count the cars - one, two, three. i'm the third. it's monday at gusto ko na umuwi. i feel lazy. i wanna spend more time with khalvin. he's my life and i am ready to sacrifice anything, everything just to see him happy.
ah so many thoughts running in my mind. i have to relax. i have to calm down. people envy me - i have good looks, i wear nice and expensive clothes, i have more than enough money and a great job. but still, i worry. i worry because i have experienced this kind of life - now. i worry because i can afford to give financial support to my family, even to my extended family - now. what if one day all of these go away? paano na magulang ko? paano na pamilya ko?
i worry too much. but if you used to have nothing, used to give nothing and suddenly your fate twists, would you prefer to let go? of course not! but that is not for me to say. that's for a higher power to decide when he will take back all that he has lent me. i hope not sooner. i haven't given enough yet. just let me give more to them and to others, too. i have wasted a lot financially. it's time for me to wake up before it's too late. time to put my feet back on the ground, before i fall on it - head first.
i want to be a good person - a good brother, a good son, a good father and a good husband. i hope people will let me be just that. gusto ko na umayos ang buhay ko - ngayon, bukas, kahapon....
i guess i came way too early. it's 6 am. my car's color-coded today so i left early. the business center is still close, so here i am writing something on a piece of paper, inside my car in the parking lot. my notebook is quite unstable ontop of the steering wheel.
i'm playing the theme song of warat on my cd player - ngayon, bukas, kahapon. i must say wency cornejo and rachel alejandro are two great artists. they sang this one with great passion and life. i remember ronnie, my friend from aci, he really loved this song. i love it, too. why? dunno. basta gusto ko siya. whenever i hear it, i feel like i want to drop everything i'm doing, take any risks and go on with my life the way i want to - with passion, with love, without making any plans. but that can never happen. hindi puwede. i have so many people to help, responsibilities to take on. i get tired. yes, i get tired. i'm currently looking for a place where i can be alone, i want that place to be high, that i can see the city below.
di ko alam bakit ganito, may mga oras na malungkot ako. there's a void. if not, then there are things i feel i may have failed to do. i just can't figure out exactly what.
i want to change my life. my drinking has never been heavier. my expenses never bigger. and i mean "my" expenses. useless, drinking-related expenses. i hate myself for that. gusto ko na magbago. God help me.
the parking lot here on the 4th floor of urban bank is still almost empty. i can count the cars - one, two, three. i'm the third. it's monday at gusto ko na umuwi. i feel lazy. i wanna spend more time with khalvin. he's my life and i am ready to sacrifice anything, everything just to see him happy.
ah so many thoughts running in my mind. i have to relax. i have to calm down. people envy me - i have good looks, i wear nice and expensive clothes, i have more than enough money and a great job. but still, i worry. i worry because i have experienced this kind of life - now. i worry because i can afford to give financial support to my family, even to my extended family - now. what if one day all of these go away? paano na magulang ko? paano na pamilya ko?
i worry too much. but if you used to have nothing, used to give nothing and suddenly your fate twists, would you prefer to let go? of course not! but that is not for me to say. that's for a higher power to decide when he will take back all that he has lent me. i hope not sooner. i haven't given enough yet. just let me give more to them and to others, too. i have wasted a lot financially. it's time for me to wake up before it's too late. time to put my feet back on the ground, before i fall on it - head first.
i want to be a good person - a good brother, a good son, a good father and a good husband. i hope people will let me be just that. gusto ko na umayos ang buhay ko - ngayon, bukas, kahapon....