my dog oscar passed away today december 02, 2009 ( dec 03 in Philippines ).
He was suffering from perineal hernia for the past 2 years and it got worst these past few days.
he was supposed to undergo surgery the day he passed away.
i am very sad about what happened because i have to admit i am partly to blame for oscar's condition
getting worse. when i went home 2 years ago, i saw he had a big lump on the back of his thigh.
my mother and sister were telling me that they could not bring oscar to the vet because he was very
fierce and would not want to be looked at. i should not have accepted that reason. i should have done my best to
get a vet to look at oscar. back then we did not have any idea what the lump was. we thought it was something that was not really
that serious and would eventually go away. we were wrong - dead wrong.
it turned out oscar was suffering from perineal hernia. a case where muscles rupture and the bladder gets caught
somewhere making the dog unable to defecate and urinate. this will create a emergency situation where the problems will need to be fixed right away
or the dog will die due to poisoning.
i learned that oscar went through very painful experience the last day before he breathed his last.
apparently he was moaning due to extreme pain. i can imagine the pain
that oscar went through. i wish i was there to caress him, pat his head
or offer him some food to relieve even just a little of the pain he was feeling.
i bought oscar 6 years ago when we were still living in manila. i went to this pet shop owned by a certain dong on visayas avenue near tandang sora. i was originally looking
for a boxer. when i went inside the pet shop i saw a big cage full of dogs. i went near the cage and a dog, which looked like a boxer, went near the cage door looking at me as if
asking me to buy him and take him away from the pet shop.
as if the dog really talked to me, i bought him and took him home. i named his oscar, after my favorite boxer back then, oscar dela hoya.
in our apartment in carmel, oscar sleeps on the floor in the living room. i would make sure i would feed him only twice a day at specific
times to build a routine. i would walk him outside often, even late at night after i come home from work. we treated oscar as a member of the family. he was always the first one to get noticed by visitors since
he was really big and looked fierce.
it is true that oscar is big, but he is a gentle giant. ambulls are like that. they stay young for a long time and are naturally playful.
i would always play with oscar and our favorite game was pulling on his canine teeth. i would grab his canine with two hand, using my thumb and index finger to pull them and he would pull back. it's like a tug of war, except we are not tugging a rope
but his canine.
when i moved to canada i had to leave oscar with my mom. he was confined in his cage and was only able to see the world outside our fenced house when i wen for a vacation after 2 years.
when i left oscar was back in his cage. i was supposed to go home again this christmas with the whole family. we were all excited about seeing oscar again, playing with him and taking him out for a walk.
little did we know that his fate will change that fast. that he will be taken away from us, barely three weeks before we were to see him again. what makes it more painful is that he played a great role in making his condition worse buy taking things for granted
instead of taking all the precautions and taking no chances.
i don't know how long the pain will linger. i don't know either how long the guilt will linger as well.
i feel numb. i want to shout. i want to go home just to see him foe the last time even if it mean seeing only his lifeless body. oscar, a very sweet,
gentle big dog, gone too soon because people around him who are supposed to look after him, who are supposed to
make sure he is safe and healthy, who oscar is just waiting to make the move to call the vet over to end his pain
that he was feeling and hiding did not do anything. we took him for granted. we is now gone and nothing can bring him back, now amount of prayer, remorse or finger-pointing will bring oscar back.
i think we should stop owning dogs anymore. as long as we take things for granted, as long as we cannot give the care and attention that dogs deserve, we should spare dogs the hardship and pain.
pain and guilt and memories are all that is left now. goodbye oscar. please forgive us. forgive me for not being there when you are in pain and you most needed me.
thanks for the unconditional love and loyalty you gave us. you will always be remembered.
